All This Time You've been Hiding in My Heart
by pokari
Summary: Severus is pregnant for the last 18 years, and he isn’t a Death Eater. Lucius is a spy for the light and Sirius had a big problem here.
1. Chapter One

All This Time You've been Hiding in My Heart

Author: Pokari, Pokkangel@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: you know it's not mine

Summary: Severus is pregnant for the last 18 years, and he isn't a Death Eater. Lucius is a spy for the light and Sirius had a big problem here.

Rate: R

Category: Romance, drama

Pairings: Sirius/Severus

Warnings: male pregnancy.

Time: Harry's 5th year at Hogwarts.

Note: Unbeta-ed

Chapter One

Severus walked slowly through the empty classrooms. He was particularly happy this morning. He woke up and found that his morning sickness was worse. That could only mean one thing. _'Sirius want his child too. That's why the baby was growing now._' Severus thought warmly. '_Eight more months and I could see my baby._' The thought made him feel warm inside and he felt like doing something nice. '_I might even be nice to those Gryffindors_.'

He passed a classroom that was slightly opened. He didn't find it strange to hear whispering sound. '_Probably some students hit puberty and wan to snog_.' He didn't go against it, that was why he was pregnant in the first place.

"What if he died, Hermione?" Severus stopped. It was Harry Potter. He felt a little cold, who might die and make Potter so sad. So lost.

"Harry, we can't be sure." Hermione tried to cheer him up. Severus caught her wrapped her hand around his shoulder. Ron was at his other side.

"What do you think you're doing here?" Severus startled them. "Breakfst is olmost over and classes will start. I suggest you three go to the Great Hall and prepare for your class."

"Professor." Harry suddenly leapt up and faced his most scary professor. "Have you heard from Sirius?"

Severus stopped. He lifted an eyebrow to the boy. "What make you think that he will write to me?"

Harry blushed. "I got a letter form Remus. He said he lost contact with Sirius. They were attacked. Remus said he was okay but he wasn't sure about Sirius. He couldn't find him. What if he died?"

Severus stopped listen after Harry told him about the attack. He was too caught up with what Harry told him that he didn't stop his rumbling. '_Is that why he want the baby now? Just to ease his guilt?_'

Severus dismissed them. "Get ready for your class." He let them with anger built up inside him. '_How dare he did this to me. To our baby.'_ He gritted his teeth. '_I would never forgive him if he died_.' Severus went to his first class he would find the Headmaster after lunch to find out about the truth.

~Ö~

The first class was the second year Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. He told the class to read a book and make some essays, which the students silently complied.

At peace, Severus' mind drifted back to Sirius. They were close during their fourth year. And Sirius asked him out on their fifth year. He accepted it because Sirius was a handsome boy. He didn't realise that he fall in live with him until he found out he was pregnant. He wanted to tell him, but it was full moon, the night when Sirius would always disappeared. But he saw him when he went out with Potter and Pettigrew so he decided to follow.

He was scared to death when he faced the werewolf. Luckily Potter helped him. Sirius was far behind his friend but he too came to his rescue.

_"What do you think you're doing?" Sirius asked coldly after he transform back form his animagus form. "I've told you not to follow me."_

_Severus was still very pale but he tried to speak. "I just want to tell you that I'm pregnant."_

_"You got to be kidding." Sirius looked at him strangely. "We don't need this joke right now." He pushed Severus toward the castle. "Come on, I'll take you to the infirmary."_

_Severus let him to be stirred. He felt numb inside._

'_He didn't want this baby._' Severus sighed sadly. He ignored it when his students sent strange scared glances at him.

_After that particular night his relationship with Sirius had changed. They avoided each other. And Severus started to hate him. He hated him ore that before they were lovers._

_Madame Pomfrey had checked him and found that his baby had stopped growing. It didn't die, more like in dormant._

_"The baby will grow again if both parents want it.' Madame Pomfrey looked at him with pity. "Tell me who's the other father, Mr. Snape, and I'll talk to him."_

_Severus could never stand pity. It was the last think he needs. So what, the baby was sleeping._

'_But now, he's growing_.' Severus looked lovingly at his flat stomach. He had a constant morning sickness for the last eighteen years. It changed yesterday and got worse this morning. That was how he knew his baby had woken up form the long sleep.

The Headmaster had been concerned about him. He banned him form flying for the baby's sake, which he completely agree. He never liked flying anyway. '_But Sirius loves flying. And he always race with Potter. Showing off with acrobatic movement_.' Making the girls screaming his name and the boys envying his skill.

He dismissed the students absently when the bell rang. And space out while waiting for his students for the next class.

Carrying the baby for eighteen years, he had stopped calling the baby 'it'. He wanted a baby boy, someone like Sirius. He was sure that his baby would take Sirius' looks.

Severus frowned when his next students came in. the fifth year Slytherin and Gryffindor.

He could see that Harry was still upset but knew that it wouldn't stop Draco from teasing him.

He didn't like Harry but he still Sirius' Godson. Maybe Draco taunting would make him stop thinking about Sirius for a while.

"Today you will make a simple healing potion. Each of you, pair up with someone from different house." The students were shock. They were just looking at their professor. "What are you waiting for?" He growled. "Unless you want me to pair you up." Knowing full well that Draco would choose Harry.

"Now if the potion work right, you will feel lots better. No head ache." He looked at his students. "But if you fail, you'll fell your head is likely to explode. And each of you will test your own potion."

Severus waved his wand and the list of the potions ingredients were written on the blackboard.

The students frantically wrote down the list. It would disappear in ten minutes, replaced by the instruction how to brew it.

Satisfied, Severus walked back to his seat. He watched Draco fondly. Lucius had been a good friend to him especially after he found out about his pregnancy. He tried to make things easier for him.

Lucius had asked him to join the Dark Lord. He was always thirst for power and the Dark Lord had promised him that. Lucius was angry when he first refused but showed his support when he told him about his baby.

Severus wanted to live a quiet life for his baby. And Lucius understand that. He didn't asked about the father of his baby and Severus would always be grateful for that. 

They kept each other secret. Severus didn't tell anyone about Lucius join the Dark Lord and Lucius never mention about Severus being pregnant.

Severus never talked to Sirius ever since the accident. And to his despair, Sirius never asked him about his pregnancy. Instead, whenever he saw him, Sirius was always with Remus. They were getting closer than before and Severus started to hate them both.

The night when the Potters were killed and Sirius was caught had changed their lives.

Severus went to Lucius and told him who was the secret father for his baby. He was so shock that he cried on Lucius' shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Sev. I didn't know about the attack." Lucius rubbed Severus back, at his attempt to soothe the black hair man 

"What should I do now, Luc." Severus sobbed. "They took him to Azkaban. He'll die in there."

_"He is a strong man, Sev." Lucius growled a little. "He was too stubborn to be died."_

_"But he'll go insane and forget everything about me." Severus was desperate. "He would forget that he had ever love me and he would never want my baby." Severus hugged his stomach tightly as if to get the strength for his unborn child._

_"I'm sorry, Sev. I don't know about the attack."_

_"No," Severus shook his head. "You don't know."_

_"Just stay here for a while. We'll take care of you."_

_He stayed with the Malfoys for a week. Played with baby Draco, talked to Narcissa and cried more._

_Lucius' life was change too. He went to see Dumbledore and willing to be his spy as long as he kept his family and Severus safe. Which Dumbledore just did. And Lucius help him arrested the Death Eaters who planned to take revenge for their lord._

'_And now that he was freed, he spent his time with Lupin. Again._' Severus thought bitterly.

He looked at his students and found that they all almost finish it.

'_Now it's not just me. I have my baby to be considered_.' Severus had made the decision. '_I'll find him and this time I'll make him stay_.'

Severus stood up. "Time's up. Put your potions safely. We'll test it next class." He watched impatiently as they cleaned their cauldron.

After the last student was out, he locked the classroom and went to find the Headmaster. They had some unfinished business. 

~*~

7 November 03, 4:54 pm


	2. Chapter Two

All This Time You've been Hiding in My Heart

Author: Pokari, Pokkangel@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: you know it's not mine

Summary: Severus is pregnant for the last 18 years, and he isn't a Death Eater. Lucius is a spy for the light and Sirius had a big problem here.

Rate: R

Category: Romance, drama

Pairings: Sirius/Severus

Spoiler: book 1 to 5

Warnings: male pregnancy.

Time: 5th year at Hogwarts.

Note: Unbeta-ed

Chapter Two

Severus went to the Headmaster's quarter. As he had expected, the Headmaster was ready to greet him. He wished that the Headmaster were ready to answer him too.

"I was waiting for you, Severus."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Severus glared at the older wizard.

"And you would do what? Run to him and get yourself killed?"

"Is he… dead?" Severus forced the last word, and felt his feet shaky.

"Sit down, Severus." Dumbledore pointed the chair in front of him. 

"Is he?" Severus took the offered chair.

"No." Dumbledore lower his head. "Unfortunately Lucius found out about the attack a bit too late. But he tracked Sirius down and portkeyed him to his house. Nobody should ever know about it."

"Not even me?" Severus' hurt tone made Dumbledore felt like he had betrayed the younger man.

"It's for your own peace of mind."

"But I feel more worried now. What if he died and I never knew. What should I say to my baby when he asked for his father?"

"What?" Dumbledore was shocked and he could barely conceal it. "You mean…" his eyes travelled down Severus' flat abdomen. "Well, that is sure a good news."

"I want to meet him."

"He's at Lucius'."

"I went to Lucius' often enough to raise any suspicion." Severus said stubbornly.

"If you're sure." Dumbledore sighed dejectedly.

"I have no classes after lunch." Severus slowly stood up. "I'll be back for tomorrow classes." He went to the fireplace. But before he took the floo powder, he turned to the headmaster. "You might want to inform the Potter boy. Who knows what stupid thing he might do."

Severus left, leaving a dumbstruck Headmaster behind. '_Not that I worried about him, but he is Sirius' godson_.'

~Ö~

"Lucius." Severus glared at him when he arrived at his friend's study room.

"Severus." Narcissa walked to him and gave him a hug.

"Hello, Narcissa." His eyes softened a bit at the sight of her.

"I've been waiting for you." Narcissa smiled. "Two days more and I'll send you invitation for tea."

"She was going to do that yesterday, actually." Lucius added.

"And why you didn't?" Severus raised his eyebrow at the witch.

"Because we're waiting for you to come." Lucius smirked.

Severus felt like screaming. Everyone was waiting for him but he wondered why they didn't bother to take the initiation to inform him.

"How did you find out anyway?"

"I heard from Potter."

"Must be Lupin told him." Severus held back his smile because he knew Lucius shared the same sentiment toward the werewolf.

"He did." Severus scowled. "How is he now?"

"He's still unconscious, Sev. They cursed him many Cruciatus. We're lucky that he's still alive." Lucius looked pity at his friend.

"No." Severus instinctively rubbing his stomach, needed the extra support from his baby. "I want to see him. I need to ask him why…" He stopped.

"Why what?" The Malfows were curious.

"Why he wanted the baby after all this time."

The room was quiet after Severus finished his sentence.

"That's a good news." Narcissa smiled.

"I'm afraid you'll have to wait for your answer." Lucius said dryly.

They ignored Lucius' words. "Let's get you there." Narcissa took Severus' hand. 

"I…" Severus tilted his head. "Can I stay for the night? I have to go back to Hogwarts tomorrow but…"

"You're always welcome, Sev." Narcissa cut him. "You know that."

"Thank you." He said softly.

They arrived at the room after a short walk. Severus realised that it was the same room he always occupied when he come to stay with the Malfoy.

"I thought you would want a familiar surrounding." Narcissa smiled apologetically.

"Yes, thank you."

"If you need something…"

"I'll call the house elf."

"Right. I think I leave you now."

Severus nodded absently. He took a deep breath before he entered the room. He gasped when he looked at the sight before him.

Sirius Black was apparently asleep on the bed. But at the better look, there was barely breathing. No movement, no sound. Worriedly Severus closed the door and walked to his ex-boyfriend.

He gently ran his finger on the pale face. In an almost loving gesture, worshiping even, he mapped the face again.

He never forgot Sirius' face. It was crafted in his heart. He thought about him when he's awake and dreamt about him when he's asleep. But seeing him again, he always found something new. He ran his fingers on the line that wasn't there before.

"We are getting older." Severus whispered. "Will it make us wiser?" He knew he wouldn't get answers but the silent still make him sad. "Are you now wiser enough to want this baby?" Still now answer.

"Our baby, Sirius. Are you sure you're not imagining having baby from Lupin?" Severus didn't realise that he spat the name with hatred.

"I know it's selfish but I'm glad that you're here. Though you'll never speak to me." Severus smiled sadly. "You always with him. Since you escaped from that hell, you always with him. And you never talk to me. Not even at the Order meeting. Is that because your godson favours him more?"

Severus didn't realise that he was crying. He looked at the tear that fell on his hand with confusion. "I always wonder if you ever love me." The silence finally broke his nerve. Severus put his head on the crook of Sirius' neck and crying freely.

He didn't know how long he had been crying but he stopped when he felt his baby's magic. Severus raised his head. Feeling a little dizzy before he felt the urged to vomit.

Severus ran to the bathroom just in time before he emptied his stomach. His walking back to Sirius' side took a longer time because his shaking feet refused to cooperate.

He hadn't had lunch, and his didn't have a grand breakfast, he wondered if he had anything more to heave. Severus continued studying Sirius' face, ignoring his hungry stomach grumbling.

"I thought you would like to have your lunch here." Narcissa's voice took him out of his reverie.

"I don't want to leave him." Severus answered without taking his eyes off of Sirius.

"He wouldn't be going anywhere." Narcissa said without care.

"He's your cousin." Severus pointed out.

"How could you still love him, Sev." Narcissa shook her head.

"I don't know." The sad smile came back. "He was the first boy that love me."

"And he also ditched you."

"Do you think he'll love me again if he found out that he's going to be a father?"

"I don't know." Narcissa looked a sad. "I'm sorry but I really don't know."

"Did you tell Lupin that Sirius is here?"

"And give him the chance to steal him from you? I don't think so."

"I thought you don't like him." Severus grinned.

"He's my cousin and you love him though what you see in him is a mystery for me." Narcissa shrugged her shoulder. "Come on, have your lunch and I won't bother you again."

Severus let himself being dragged to the small living room next to the window.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I think every pregnant person deserve every best meal. And here are your nutritious menus. Sit."

Severus eyeing the food served with the Malfoy expensive dishware and again felt the urge to vomit. He ran off to the bathroom.  
  


"Are you okay?" Narcissa had waited him with a glass of water.

"I don't know." Severus' pale face looked tire. "It's the second time in fifteen minutes."

Narcissa helped him sit. "Maybe you have to check your baby."

"Just send the food away." Severus smiled shyly. "I don't think the baby likes it."

"Just try a light lunch. Your body needs it."

"What about Sirius?"

"Lucius took him in five days ago. We had Pomfrey checked on him on the second night. But his condition hasn't changed."

"Is that bad or good."

"We couldn't find out whether there's brain damage or not until he wake up."

"Oh." Severus nibbled on his sandwich.

"So, tell me how my boy is doing." Narcissa smiled, trying to change the subject.

"He's doing good. Trying to drive Potter crazy as always."

"That's my boy." Narcissa laughed. "Oh, poor boy."

"You're not sympathize with that boy so don't bother to show that pity now." Severus chuckled.

"He does really love my cousin, doesn't he?" Narcissa pondered. "Do you think we should tell him about his godfather?"

"I've told Dumbledore that he should inform the boy." Severus shrugged his shoulder.

"Well, then, he would be told when it's time."

'_Poor, Potter_.' Severus thought. '_Well, he still needs to wait some time to find out_.'

"Take your rest, Sev." Narcissa stood up. "It will be long before he awake."

"Do you think he would be alright?"

"We could only hope my friend."

'_Hope_.' It sounded too desperate.

Severus walked back to the bed and decided to lie down. He carefully crawled on to the bed as not to hurt the other occupant.

Severus noticed that the bed was still too big for them. When he was sleeping there alone, he always wondered how it would feel to share it with someone. With Sirius. Maybe then the bed wouldn't feel that big and make him feel empty and alone. But he was wrong. Even with Sirius next to him the bed was still too big.

Severus felt the stir in his stomach again as he touch Sirius' face. He stopped and took a deep breath. And no, he didn't vomit.

"Maybe he just recognise you, Sirius." Severus smiled. "Maybe he's growing faster right now, to replace the time he spent sleeping." He thought happily. "I do want him earlier than eight months."

Slowly Severus lowered his body so that he was sleeping next to Sirius. "I'm yours, Sirius. No matter what happened, I will be yours. Always." Severus whispered before his tired body took him in deep slumber.

~*~

22 November 03, 11:56 pm

To:

Louise : Thanks, I don't have a beta for this fic so this far you have to stand me. Hehe

Miss Shadow Prowl : Thanks. You'll find out more now and later. Well, actually I heard about it from some groups I joined but I haven't read it. And when I'm thinking about the title for this fic (I wrote it first before I think of the title) I already forgot about the title from Sandra (but maybe it linger somewhere in my head). But it do have a nice ring, right. J

Exwhyzed : Thanks.

DeZeRa : Thanks.

Lord Angelus : Thanks.

Soph5232 : Thanks, I'll do my best.


	3. Chapter Three

All This Time You've been Hiding in My Heart

Author: Pokari, Pokkangel@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: you know it's not mine

Summary: Severus is pregnant for the last 18 years, and he isn't a Death Eater. Lucius is a spy for the light and Sirius had a big problem here.

Rate: R

Category: Romance, drama

Pairings: Sirius/Severus

Spoiler: book 1 to 5

Warnings: male pregnancy.

Time: 5th year at Hogwarts.

Note: Unbeta-ed

Chapter Three

Again, Severus found himself sitting in the Headmaster's office. He was not in the mood to talk to the old wizard but he knew that there was no other choice.

Severus took a deep breath. Three days ago he was happy to find his morning sickness was worsen, proof that his baby was growing again. But now he felt miserable.

'_If he doesn't speak right now, I'll just throw up in his table_.'

"It's about Harry."

Severus kept silence.

"Minerva found him trying to enter the Shrieking Shack last night." Dumbledore sighed sadly. "Hagrid found him trying to enter the Forbidden Forest just three days ago."

"He's fool."

"I don't think he believe me when I told him that Sirius wasn't at both place. I'm afraid that he would try something that will hurt himself."  
  


Severus didn't even bother to say 'I've told you so'.

"I think letting Harry meet Sirius is the only solution."

"You don't need my permission." Severus wore a blank face. "It's Lucius' place."

"Still I have to tell you."

"Well, if that's all." Severus carefully stood up. "I have a class to teach."

"There's something else, actually." Dumbledore was hesitated for a moment. "About your classes."

Severus sat again. "I never neglect my classes so don't tell me you got complaints about me."

"No, of course not." Dumbledore smiled. "I just think you might want to furlough until your baby is born. Potions and the smoke aren't really good for pregnant people."

"I'll consider it." Severus said softly before he took his leave. '_Didn't have to attend to classes for the next few months was really attempting_,' he thought. Not to mention the time he could spend with Sirius. If only the baby would come out now, that would be perfect.

It was again the fifth year Slytherin and Gryffindor class, he was ten minutes late but his students were silently sit with their usual partner, which meant Draco was again sitting with Harry.

He noticed how frustrated Draco was and how distant Harry was, completely and thoroughly ignoring his partner.

'_Albus was right, I don't like the fume_.' Severus sat, thinking for a moment and decided that once again he'll let his students made some essay. He tried not to think about the stack of parchments he had yet to grade.

'_I might as well take the offer and let the kind old man deal with seven years worth of essays_.'

"Er… Professor." Severus looked half amusedly when Hermione Granger lifted her hand to catch his attention.

"Yes." '_Little Granger, never learn to keep your mouth shut, didn't you_.'

"Well, Sir, you said we will test our Potion today."

"Well, Mirss Granger, if you want to test your potion that badly, you may keep your parchment back." Severus smirked. "Make it another three feet long essay."

The students groaned and sending evil glares at the young witch.

Severus frowned when Harry disturbingly didn't reacted. '_Not that I care about him_.'

~Ö~

"Hey, your little friend just put us through another essay hell." Draco whispered.

"Shut up." Harry pouted. "I can use that Potions anyway since you give me unstopped headache."

"My honour." Draco smirked. "And if you're lucky it will help you forget everything."

"Your poisoned our potion?" Harry gave him a look.

"Like I would." Draco exhaled. "Your incompetence is enough danger."

And before Harry said something, he went to get their vial.

~Ö~

Severus watched with little amusement when his students took the potion and showed variety affects. He wasn't surprised that Neville Longbottom' potion work since he worked with Pansy Parkinson.

He took pity of Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan who had to go to the Infirmary along with their partners, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle.

Severus told his students that class was over and they better started doing their essay. He was tempted to yell at them to run off so that he could pack and leave the school.

"Professor." Harry looked a little scared but determine.

"Potter, I heard that you've earn detentions enough to keep you busy for two weeks." Severus said slowly. "You should waste the little time you have on something more important, like doing your essay, not wasting my times."

"Sorry, Professor." Harry blushed. 

"You should."

"But, Professor." Harry pleaded. "I feel that Sirius is in deep danger."

"And what do you think you can do to save him?" '_Great, now I sound like Dumbledore_.'

"Nothing." Harry bowed his head. "But I'm worried."

"He is save now."

"Really?" Harry smiled, the anxious almost left his young eyes. "Can I see him?"

"I'm afraid not." Severus leant back on his stiff chair. "I shouldn't even tell you this much."

"But I'm his godson, I have my rights to know." Harry frowned.

"Just stay out of trouble, Potter. And I promise that I might owl you." Severus told him in an end-of-discussion tone.

"Don't worry, Professor, I'll watch him." Draco grinned, he put his hand around Harry's shoulder, but the Gryffindor was too distracted to push him.

"Yeah, I can count on you." Severus smiled sourly. "Now, you two just go to lunch. I need to pack."

"Are you leaving, Professor?" Harry looked sad.

"I'm staying at Draco's place."

"Is Sirius there?" Harry whispered.

"I would absolutely deny it if you go ask Headmaster." Severus said, emotionlessly.

"Nah, Potter, don't be so sad." Draco slapped his shoulder. "If you be nice to me, I might invite you for Christmas."

"Promise?" Harry looked at the Slytherin.

"Yes."

"Okay." Harry smiled hesitantly.

Severus allowed them to follow him until he reached his quarter.

"Where do you think you two are going to?"

"I just want to help packing." Draco said innocently.

"Me two."

Severus glared. "Thank you, I can handle that myself. Just go to lunch." Severus watched them taking their leave. "One more thing, Harry. If you break one more rule, any rule, I will make you spent your Christmas at school."

"I won't, Professor."

~Ö~

Severus went to his friends' place after he finished packing. Ten minutes to seal his fifteen years of life teaching. It was the end of his teaching carrier. He didn't feel bad for that. He was about to start his life.

He arrived at his friends' place, just in time for lunch, and then went to rest on his room. Sirius hadn't made any changes.

At the evening Narcissa waked him.

"Madame Pomrey is here. She wanted to check on Sirius."

"Oh, okay." Severus automatically went to the bathroom. When he came back, the mediwitch had finished checking on Sirius.

"How is he?"

"Well, nothing had change, only now he was stable and we can induce potions to help him." She looked unsure.

"Something you didn't tell me?"

"It's just my guess, I just don't think it's the Crusiatus. Don't worry too much, he will conscious soon."

"Are you sure?"

"I met someone crazy before, and I think he still sane, though I need him to be awake to be sure. When you're waiting for him, I want you to talk to him." 

"You still have one patient." Narcissa told her before she took her leave.

"I'm fine." Severus didn't want to leave Sirius.

"Don't you want to know if your baby is fine?"

"Your baby?" Madame Pomfrey smiled. "It's nice to hear that, Mr. Snape."

"I think so too." Severus let himself be dragged and pushed on the bed beside Sirius.

"And when are you planning to check yourself?" She frowned her disapproval.

"When I need it."

"He means when the baby's born." Narcissa teased him.

"Your baby is healthy, and very active I should say."

"Active?"

"I can't be sure when you'll labour. Could be in five months, or two months. Just came to my office, anytime."

"I'm not teaching anymore." Severus wanted to laugh at her look. "I'll owl Dumbledore my resignation."

"I can understand." She old witch nodded. "Well, your baby is the most important."

Severus nodded and watched the witch left.

"Did you hear that, Sirius?" Severus gently rubbed his face. "It's just another five months or two. You better be awake by that time."

"Maybe you should say 'if you didn't wake up in two months, I'll hex you." Narcissa giggled.

"I… I want to stay with him." Severus glanced at her with the corner of his eyes. "Do you think it will be alright if I portkey him to my house?"

"We are family, Sev." Narcissa held his hand. "Just stay with us. Here is one of the safest places. Just stay, I promise I would charge on you."

"Thank you, again. For everything."

"You're welcome. Beside, he's my cousin."

"Oh, there's something that I think you'll be interested to know. You might need to be prepare."

"What?"

"Draco plan to invite Potter for Christmas if he be nice to him."

"Really?" Narcissa smiled gleefully. "Well, I should be prepared then."

~Ö~

The next two weeks Severus spent it on bed, talking to Sirius.

"Pomfrey came again yesterday." Severus was playing with Sirius' fingers. "She said she needed to check on me. Must be old headmaster wants me back."

"She said our baby is doing okay. If he grows this constantly, we would have him around Christmas. Maybe earlier. But I don't mind. As long as he's healthy that would be enough for me."

Severus had a bite of his cracker. "Draco wrote to me yesterday. He said Harry was nice to him. Though I doubt what this 'nice' mean."

Severus noticed that Sirius' fingers moved a little. Very weak movement but he knew that his eyes wasn't fool him.

"Harry is so worried about you." Severus whispered, waiting anxiously. "He wrote to me too, telling me that he didn't break any rules."

He wasn't mistaken, Sirius reacted to him. "I had owled him this morning. Just like I've promised him. Sirius, can you hear me? Please open your eyes, please."

Severus ringed the bell to call Narcissa. His friend came in a halt. "Something happen, Severus?"

"Yes," Severus whispered, "I think he's awake. He's trying to open his eyes."

Sirius heard the voice. The voice he loved so much. It talked to him in a loving tone. And the hands, it always there, caressing him.

The voice was so far. He tried to run faster, to get near the voice again. He couldn't lose him.

  
He reached the light. There was a face, just a glance, but he would recognize him anywhere. '_Severus, wait for me. Don't leave again_.'

The face faded again. '_No, Severus, don't leave me. I love you. The ring. Where is my ring? Ah, yes, I asked Remus to keep it for me. Remus, where are you. I want my ring back_.'

"Remussss…"

Severus' body stiffen. It was soft but he could hear him. "He wants Lupin." He told Narcissa bitterly.

~*~

14 February 04, 5:14 pm

To all that reviewed, thank you.

snape_the_moon_priestess: there, he almost make it. (But it still kinda sad, don't you think)

Miss Shadow Prowl: Well, I think Narcissa was a little fond of Harry, so I say they could be together in this one. Harry has to be nice to Draco, right.

Prongs1: Thank you.

chrisanimefan: hope this is now enough ^_-


	4. Chapter Four

All This Time You've been Hiding in My Heart

Author: Pokari, 

Website: 

Disclaimer: you know it's not mine

Summary: Severus is pregnant for the last 18 years, and he isn't a Death Eater. Lucius is a spy for the light and Sirius had a big problem here.

Rate: R

Category: Romance, drama

Pairings: Sirius/Severus

Spoiler: book 1 to 5

Warnings: male pregnancy.

Time: 5th year at Hogwarts.

Note: Unbeta-ed

Chapter Four

Severus stared angrily at his ex-lover.

"Remus…" The voice was stronger now.

slap

"Severus?" Narcissa looked amusedly at her friend.

"I… I didn't mean that." Severus looked at his throbbing hand. "It's… reflex."

"…Russss…" It sounded confused.

slap

"It's…" Severus held his hand tightly to his body. "Reflex."

"Not that I don't agree that he deserve it but I think he's trying to call you."

"Really?" Severus looked at the still man.

Suddenly Sirius' eyes were opened. He looked straight into Severus' eyes. "What was that for? Can't you wake me gentler?"

"Sirius?" Severus raised his hands to gently cup Sirius' reddened cheek.

"Who do you expect anyway?" A big yawn.

"You're awake." Severus couldn't believe his eyes.

"Of course I am, after what you've done." Sirius sulked.

"I'm sorry." Severus smiled. "I know I shouldn't do that. Your face is your only virtue."

"Hey." Sirius tried to glare with his sleepy eyes. "What are you doing here anyway? You should have known better than to come to Gryffindor dorm. Remus might be okay. James is not really bad. But Peter? I swear I might hex him one day."

Severus' heart stung at the mentioned of Lupin's name.

"Look around, Black." Narcissa spoke; half amused and half offended that Malfoy room might be mistaken as a Gryffindor dorm.

"Well, well, my dear cousin." Sirius sneered. In Severus' opinion he was so cute doing that with his eyes barely opened. "What are you doing here? Malfoy finally came to his sense and ditch you? Not that I blamed him, though in my opinion he's still a jerk."

Narcissa looked deadly at her cousin, her hand was ready to raise her wand.

"Sirius," Severus gently altered Sirius attention back to him. "I know you might find it hard to believe, but sixteen years had passed since our graduation."

"Oh?" Sirius looked back at him with confusion. "Okay." Sirius yawned. "Can we go back to sleep now?"

Severus smiled. He didn't miss the '_we'_. Carefully, Severus laid himself next to Sirius, though he wasn't feeling tired. It was eleven in the morning and he didn't feel like sleeping but laying there with Sirius' arms around him was hard to resist. And soon he too joined Sirius into the slumber land.

Narcissa shook her head and left the room. She went and told her husband that the sleeping man had regained consciousness and continued his sleeping.

"Harry," Draco scowled. "I thought you promised to be nice to me."

"I am." Harry looked up from his reading, confused.

"Then don't be nice to him." Draco glared at Ron.

"He's my friend. And I don't be nice at him." Harry frowned, he was explaining to Ron about muggle electricity, part of their homework for Muggle Studies. "I only be nice at you." Harry blushed.

"Well, be nice to me now." Draco demanded.

"Nice?" Ron frowned. "How?"

"None of your business." Draco looked at his Harry. "Well, Harry?"

"Not here." Harry looked around worriedly despite the secluded area where they were and the library was a little deserted since it was almost dinner.

"Fine." Draco tilted his head. "Well, then I see you on Monday."

"Monday?" Harry was confused. "Tomorrow is Friday, we can meet after lunch."

"Oh, no." Draco shook his head, and then added in a low voice. "I'm going home after classes. I might not have lunch here."

"Why?" Harry sounded a little sad.

"You can't." Ron's eyes narrowed. "We can't leave Hogwarts unless it's holiday or we have permission. Beside, your fellow Slytherin would find out and report you."

Draco smirked. "Glad to know that you worry, Weasley. But a good thing about Slytherin is that we mind our own business. Beside, most of us do it. That's probably why you saw very little of us, Slytherin, on weekend." Draco glanced at Harry. "Well, then, see you on Monday. I need to pack now." He took a very slow step to the door.

"Wait, Draco." Harry stood and collected his things. "Can I come with you? I know it's not Christmas yet, but…" his voice fading.

Draco pretended to think. "Hmm, I don't mind, actually, but your friends… they would find you missing and _that_ would be a problem."

"Ron and Hermione can help me." Harry said hastily.

"What?!" Ron turned to Harry. "Are you out of your mind? You're breaking the school rules. I doubt Hermione will let you leave Hogwarts, and to Malfoy' place?"

"But I want to see Sirius. Beside, Draco will be there, also Sirius and Professor Snape." Harry gave him puppy look.

"Nah, don't worry about him, Harry." Draco smiled in an uncharacteristically friendly way. "Mother told me that my uncle Sirius is getting better. He even had been conscious this morning."

"Sirius is your uncle?" Harry frowned. "Why nobody told me this?"

"My mother's cousin." Draco nodded. "And you didn't ask me."

"Ron…"

Ron sighed. "Fine, I'll cover you. But you'll leave on Saturday, and have dinner here on Friday. I don't want they questioning me when they didn't see you at meal time."

"Thank you." Harry smiled happily, but he caught himself before he hugged his friend. "Draco?" Harry smiled tentatively. "Will… will it be okay if I come with you?"

"Why not?" Draco smiled. "Come on, we'll talk in my room."

Ron rolled his eyes. Really, what Harry saw in him is a mystery. His father in the same side, so what? He still a vain, villain, arrogant bastard.

They were, well, childhood friends but when Harry came between them and had chosen Ron as his best friend and shared the same house; they had been more like rival. But the adults, namely their parents, calmly took it as a good disguise for the animosity would assure that they were on different side.

"But, Draco," Harry looked at his books and parchments and his writing equipments. "What about this?"

Draco carried Harry's large books and left them, knowing that Harry would follow him.

Harry smiled at Ron, swept all his stuff into his arms and followed Draco out. He knew where Draco's room was. His first visit was when Draco told him that he got Harry's letter from Severus, sent to him along with packages from his mother. Draco refused to go to his room and back to wherever Harry wanted to meet him, thus Harry had to follow him to his room.

Harry had to admit that he liked Draco's room. Though it was located in the dungeon, but it was comfortable and welcoming. What most important is it was secure, and he could be nice to Draco as he promised without being afraid of caught.

Hermione told him that it against school rules to get into other house territory, and since he had promised Professor Snape that he wouldn't break any rules he refused to go into Draco's room. Only because Draco had convinced him that it wouldn't break any rules and he had given his promised that he would watch Harry and wouldn't let anything happen to him that Harry resigned.

Harry wasn't afraid when he had to pass Slytherin common room to go to Draco's room. Like Draco said, Slytherin mind their own business and the common room almost always deserted.

Harry followed Draco into his room, which decorated like his room in his house like other Slytherins, and put his stuff on Draco's table, next to his books.

Draco slept alone. Personal room meant more money, but most Slytherin were rich and the dungeon like other part of the castle could be magically extended so it wouldn't be a problem.

"So…" Draco sat on the edge of his bed, carefully looking at Harry.

Harry smiled shyly and walked to Draco. He bent his head to kiss Draco's cheek. "There, I be nice to you."

Draco laughed and hugged Harry. "And you'll be nice to me only."

Harry nodded his head. "Tell me about Sirius, Draco."

"What you want to know? I only know that my mother hate him and I've never met him."

"What?"

"He'd been annoying brother to her." Draco shrugged. He stood and pulled Harry to the small bathroom attached to his room. "Let's get ready for dinner, Harry."

"Oh… okay."

Severus sat at Sirius's side, waiting anxiously for Sirius to wake up. Sirius had missed his lunch and dinner, and when he didn't wake up for breakfast the next morning, Severus was really worried.

Severus ignored his grumbling stomach. He only had a small snack for breakfast, and he didn't feel like eating. Narcissa had the elf sent his meal ten minutes ago but he just had no appetite.

His eyes never left Sirius' face. His heart throbbed faster when he caught the fluttering eyelashes and the slowly opened eyelids. He realised that the grumbling stomach also came from Sirius.

"Sirius?" Severus squeezed his hand gently, as not to startled him. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes. What time is it?" Sirius tried to get up.

"No, sit here, I'll bring you your meal."

"Thanks." Sirius smiled appreciatively. "It feels like years since my last meal."

"Then you have to eat a lot." Severus put a small table on the bed and put the tray on it.

"What about you?" Sirius asked when Severus sat back and just stared at him.

"I… I'll eat after you finish yours."

"No way." Sirius frowned. "We can share." He winked. "I can feed you."

Severus smiled. Before 'the werewolf accident', Sirius was so nice to him. So caring and loving. He hated Lupin for taking that man away from him.

After they finished, Severus put the tray away. He felt Sirius' eyes on him and suddenly feeling very conscious of his body.

"You're…" Sirius tried to find a better word, "fill out now. Not fat." He added hastily. "Er…, just around your stomach."

Severus turned around slowly and walked even more slowly back to his seat, arguing with himself if he should tell him about the baby. Somewhere in his heart he was afraid if Sirius turned him down again. Rejected their baby.

"Ow." Severus was surprised when Sirius suddenly caught his hand in a cruel grip. He tried to glare but his mind gone blank at the angry look on his former lover's face.

"You're pregnant, aren't you?"

Severus went pale. '_How did he know? Please, please don't tell me to get rid of my baby.' _"Let me go." Severus tried to free his hand, but for someone who had been unconscious for weeks, Sirius was surprisingly strong.

"Not until you tell me who's that man." Those blue eyes were uncompromising.

"What man?"

"The father of your baby. _That_ man." Sirius didn't ease his grip. "Unless you're telling me that it's another woman, though I doubt it. I'm pretty sure of your preference."

"That's a long time ago. It's almost twenty years, I might have change." Severus flushed.

"Twenty years? Is that true?"

"What do you mean? You don't trust me?"

"No, no. I just find it hard to believe."

"I bet if Lupin told you what I told you, you'd have believed him."

"It's not like that, Sevvie." Sirius' face softened.

"Don't call me that." Severus felt betrayed. "In fact, don't talk to me at all. I always know that you choose him over me."

"I don't." Sirius frowned.

"Well, then tell me why you didn't believe me twenty years ago when I told you that I'm pregnant with your baby?" Severus didn't realise that he'd been crying until Sirius raised his hand and wiped his tear.

"I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you." Sirius tried to hold the struggling Slytherin. "I love you, Sev, I do. Please don't cry. Your tears hurt me so."

"I don't believe that you think those lines are still effective to get laid." Narcissa wanted to laugh at the looks on their faces.

"Would you knock?" Sirius frowned in irritation.

"At my own home?"

Severus gave her a look. '_Give me a break. Can't a man try to win his love without such a distraction?'_

"I did." Narcissa walked in. "It's not my fault that you're too busy to hear me."

"That's alright." Sirius nodded solemnly. "Now that I see you, I don't find it so hard to believe anymore."

"What's that suppose to mean?" Narcissa crossed her hands; she really hated her cousin sometimes. Well, most of the time.

"You look old." Sirius smirked.

"Really?" Narcissa snorted unladylike. "Have you take a look at yourself this lately?" She charmed a mirror for Sirius.

"Aaargh." Sirius let go of Severus and clutched his face. "I'm trapped on my father's body."

Severus chuckled. He cupped Sirius' face. "All you need is a good long bath and shaving."

"Yeah, if you say so." Sirius smiled. "Would you help me?"

Narcissa rolled her eyes. It was just liked her cousin to flirt at any given chance.

"Okay." Severus blushed. He had seen Sirius naked many times when they were lovers, a long time ago. He had bathed him using sponge and changed his pyjamas when he was still unconscious. This time, it would be different.

"I'll hope to see you at dinner." Narcissa wasn't sure whether they heard her, but really it wasn't important at that moment.

"Come on." Severus gave a tug at Sirius' hand, signalled him to take a seat in front of the vanity table, facing the mirror. "I'll help you shave."

The minutes spent in peace. Sirius looked into the mirror, staring at Severus' concentrate expression more than at his own reflection.

"Your hair is very long now, would you like me to help you cut it?" Severus asked, his hands combing the long black strands.

"Do what you want, Sev, it's all yours." Sirius grinned.

Severus smiled though his heart screamed at him. '_Will your heart ever be mine?_'

"Well, well, well." Lucius smirked when Sirius walked into the living room, supported by Severus. "I never thought I'll say this, but good to see you alive, Black."

"Thank you." Sirius raised his eyebrow; he tightened his hold on Severus' shoulder, showing the sign of ownership.

"Champagne?" Lucius offered two glasses to Severus and handed one to his wife.

"Anything to celebrate?" Sirius looked at the offered hospitality.

"Well, to the returning of a family." Lucius studied Severus' pale face, he added. "Draco will come home tomorrow to spend weekend, and he will take Harry with him."

"Like father like son." Sirius frowned. "Harry is just two years old, perverted."

Lucius laughed. He liked it when he knew something what the animagus didn't, and right at this moment, he knew too much of something that the other man didn't.

"Harry is only several months younger than Draco." Narcissa smiled fondly, "And he looks so much like his mother."

"Really?" Sirius sipped his drink absently. "He's coming tomorrow?"

"He missed you, and worry a lot about you." Severus told him.

"Well, let's start early, so we could retire early." Narcissa offered her hand to his husband. "It will be a long day tomorrow with the kids' coming."

The wizards agreed with her. The dinner was relatively peaceful with the talking about Harry and Draco. Sirius acted as a good listener since he had no memories of them, and could offer no word. Severus, not feeling much of a conversationalist that night, also lent his ears.

After the meal, refusing coffees, Severus insisted that Sirius had to go back to bed. He had to sleep if he wanted to be awake to meet his godson. The Malfoys nodded their agreement and smirked when Sirius groaned, mumbling that he had enough sleep.

"You seem to know the way here." Sirius looked at Severus from the corner of his eyes. He had his hand on Severus' shoulder. He couldn't take his mind off of the swelling on Severus' stomach that keep bumping gently into his side.

"I stay with them for some time." Severus didn't offer more explanation. He didn't want to talk about Azkaban. The only good thing about this memory lost was that Sirius didn't remember the hell.

"Until now?"

"Just from time to time."

"And this is your room?" Sirius opened the door. He had noticed some personal belongings.

"Yes." Severus helped him to sit on the bed.

"Tell me, Severus, had he stayed here with you too, does everybody know about him?"

"Who?" Severus straightened his body, one hands on his back, which was getting uncomfortable to him now.

"You know who." Sirius glared. "The man, who took you from me."

"No body take me from you." Severus whispered. "You rejected me, you didn't believe me when I told you about my pregnancy."

"I didn't mean to. Remus needed me at that time. He was so scared that someone else found out his secret." Sirius' eyes begged him for his understanding.

"What about me? I needed you too."

"Really? I didn't see you look pregnant." Sirius' face hardened. "You know, big stomach like you are now. It's either you lied to me or you abort it."

Severus' face went paler. "Have it ever cross your mind that I might not be able to carry it to term, no matter I want it?"

"What had happened?" Sirius frowned. "You woke up and realised that you only dreamt of pregnant with my baby?"

Severus stood up. "I hate you, Sirius Black. You haven't changed. You favoured him over me, from the very beginning. I don't know why you bother befriend me. I wonder if you ever love me."

"You're the one to talk." Sirius scowled; he really didn't like this conversation. "You're carrying other man's child."

Severus walked to the door. "I really hate you, Black."

"Oh yeah, I bet Remus would be happier to see me." Sirius talked louder, he preferred Severus shouting at him rather than leaving him.

"Then why wouldn't you go to him?"

Sirius grimaced. He might lose his memory but he wasn't stupid. If Severus was this angry, he must be jealous. And it could only mean one thing. Severus still loved him. But that other man… maybe he should go visit Remus. He must know if Severus was seeing someone.

"Fine. I'll go to him."

Severus stood still. He walked back to the bed and pulled his wand. Soon, Sirius found himself bind onto the bed.

"You're not leaving this place." Severus glared, but Sirus found him so cute standing with his hand on his stomach. "You'll never see him ever again."

_'Well, that was fine by me.' _Sirius smiled inwardly_. 'Wait a minute, my ring. Damn, I forgot my ring.'_

13 September 04, 3:27 pm

Sorry, it took very long to update, I've been a bit lazy this lately. And to you who reviewed, thanks. Sorry if I miss someone.

Spidermonkey-Demon: thanks, but it won't be too much angst. It would soon be happy story.

Tracy: you're right, but I haven't got any beta. And if I did get it beta-ed, I will update it on my page only (sometime give lots of trouble).

chrisanimefan: yeah, I've made him better in this chapter, I'll make him take care of Severus on the next. J

Miss Shadow Prowl: now, Charlie would be an interesting to add, about your question, I think Sirius had contradictive mind. He didn't want to cause pain to Severus (pregnancy is a painful thing to him). In the end, he believed he was dying, he realised that what he wanted most was to build a family with Severus. I hope this satisfy you.

Kellie Kritz: Sirius hasn't known that it was his baby so he had no say, yet. But, he would be a good father.

lillinfields: not very much, I hope. Things' are getting better for him.

Clarice Starling: maybe, thanks for spending your time reading it.

BabyTraci: I hope this chapter answer your question.

Tiger of the Fire: thanks. But he get his little revenge (the slapping, hehe)

CrazyForYou: thanks

Arch-Nemesis: yeah, I agreed, poor Severus.

Temu: there you go

Su: happy reading.

Nachtfrost: it's okay, I know my English is not that good either, and yes this is supposing a happy ending story.

someonesgurl: you might be right, but Severus slapped him so I think he got his revenge (though it wouldn't stop him from a broken heart)

sunshine888: thank, still I understand what you mean

BloodMistress: thanks, it took some time to put my mind on this fic, hope you enjoy it.

MoroTheWolfGod: this is as soon as I can.

Sniper's Angel: thanks. I read about Yu yu Hakusho and watched the anime, but never read any of the fanfiction (I don't remember the name of the character so it kind of difficult to follow the story). Anyway, I read almost all story as long as it's not too sad, romantic and funny.

Dead With A Pulse: thanks, btw, it's a cool name.

Bristow child: thanks, I always love reviews.


	5. Chapter Five

All This Time You've been Hiding in My Heart

Author: Pokari, you know it's not mine

Summary: Severus is pregnant for the last 18 years, and he isn't a Death Eater. Lucius is a spy for the light and Sirius had a big problem here.

Rate: R

Category: Romance, drama

Pairings: Sirius/Severus

Spoiler: book 1 to 5

Warnings: male pregnancy.

Time: 5th year at Hogwarts.

Note: Unbeta-ed

Chapter Five

"Well, where are you going to?" Sirius' lips curled slightly.

"I'm going back to my house."

"Stay, Sev." Sirius spoke softly. "The bed is big enough for the two of us."

Severus looked unsure. He wanted to tell him about this 'other man', but he felt drain out already. It had to wait until tomorrow.

"Come on. I know I had a lot of making up to do, I promise I'll be good tonight."

The hours were spent in silence, no one could sleep but both were too stubborn to be the one who started the conversation, until Sirius couldn't stand it anymore.

"Sev…" Sirius whispered, "Are you sleeping?"

Severus' heart was working extra hard now. He was afraid that Sirius could hear it. '_Maybe if I pretend to be asleep, he would kiss me._' Severus thought to himself.

"Sev…" Sirius shook him lightly, "I need to go to the bathroom now."

Severus blushed, for a moment he really believe that Sirius still want him. And that made him angry at himself. Without he could restrain it, he just snapped at him. "Couldn't you wait until tomorrow to leave me?"

"I'm not leaving you." Sirius frowned. "I really need to go to the bathroom."

"Liar." Severus hissed. "I can see that you're impatient to meet that wolf."

"Remus is a werewolf." Sirius explained. "And you can come with me to the bathroom if you want to."

Severus glared at him; he then slowly lifted the spell. "You have five minutes, stay longer and you can sleep there, _after_ I curse you."

Sirius paled, he knew Severus always did as he said, especially the cursing part, so he tried to finish his business as fast as his still weak body allowed.

"That was fast." Severus smirked. "Did you wash your hands?"

"What you take me for?" Sirius growled. "A five year old boy who couldn't keep himself clean?"

Severus chuckled lightly as he lay back down. When Sirius lay next to him and gently hugged him from behind, he didn't object him; instead he simply waved his wand again to bind Sirius back onto the bed.

"Hey…" Sirius protested weakly.

"Shut up or you'll sleep on the floor." Severus threatened sleepily.

Sirius grinned silently. At least he was allowed to hug the other man. After his initial shock, he realised he didn't really mind with Severus being pregnant. Even though it was hard to believe it, he really wished that the baby Severus was carrying was actually his.

Sirius' hand gently rubbed the more visible lump. His hand kept rubbing until Severus felt asleep. Sirius sighed; he spoke softly as not to wake the man in his arms, "I promise I'll try to be a good father, baby."

Sirius chuckled, it was a weird thing he did but he didn't care. "You might be a son, or a daughter, but I don't care. Since your mummy said I'm your father, then I am. If one day some guy comes to claim that he was the real father, then I'm going to hex him. Because you are mine, little baby, just like your mummy here. You are both mine, and no one can take the two of you from me."

After he finished his speech, Sirius felt better. Soon he too felt asleep. Neither of the men felt the first sign of life in Severus' stomach, the baby gently kicked, as if he was happy to finally getting in touch with its parents' magic.

Ö

"No, you can't Harry." Hermione shook her head. "You can't leave this weekend, nor next weekend, and especially not today."

"WHAT? Why?" Harry looked dejected, he then lower his voice. "But, 'Mione, Ron has promised me that he would cover for me." Harry looked at Ron as if asking for his support, but all he got was a shrug.

Again Hermione shook her head. She looked around the Gryffindor common room; most of their house mate had left for the Great Hall to have breakfast.

"It's your own fault that you can't leave, Harry. You have to serve detention for two weeks remember?"

Harry pouted, he really didn't mean to break the school rule, he just thought that maybe Sirius were hiding at those places, and he might come out if he was the one who looking for him.

Without saying anything at his friends he left for Slytherin dorm, he promised he would meet Draco before classes.

"So?" Draco looked at his smaller friend.

"Hermione said I can't leave because I have to serve detention." Harry almost burst into tears as he told his Slytherin friend.

Draco had talked into him to have lunch at his place, since there were no classes after lunch, the lunch time was more flexible, and no one would notice if they didn't come for lunch.

"Well, I guess we couldn't help it." Draco sighed. "I'll let Sirius know that you miss him."

Harry didn't say anything.

"Come on, let's have breakfast before classes start." Draco gently took Harry's hand.

Harry didn't feel like eating but it the last few days he was used to listen to what the taller boy said, so without complain he let himself being stirred to the Great Hall.

Ö

"How is your sleeping, Severus." Narcissa asked as she pushed the toast toward the pregnant man.

"Wonderful." Severus smiled. He had a wonderful dream about Sirius and his son.

"And you too, I hope." Narcissa asked her cousin with less friendliness.

Sirius only growled.

"Ah, maybe we should ask Madame Pomphrey to check on your head now that you're conscious." Lucius smirked. "She could check on you too, Severus, you look… bigger a lot."

"Well, thank you," Sirius glared. "But there's nothing wrong with my head. And Severus is my business, I can take care of him myself."

"Said the man who can't even leave the bed." Lucius loved to haunt his in-law.

"Oww." Sirius rubbed his had which had been hit none too gently. "What was that for?" Sirius glared at his boyfriend.

"Be polite." Severus finished his breakfast as if nothing happened.

Narcissa shook her head. "You should grow up, Sirius. What would become of Harry if he had you as his role model?"

At the mention of his godson, Sirius' face turned bright. He even smiled at his cousin. "He's coming today, right? I can't remember what he look like now, is he like James or like the serious Lily?"

"Lily isn't that serious, though she had prevented you and James to have too much fun." Narcissa frowned her disagreement of her cousin's hobby of making pranks. "But Harry does look like Lily a lot."

Severus kept silent as he heard Sirius asking about Harry. '_If only he is more enthusiastic about his own baby_.' It hurt him that even he forgot about his godson, Sirius still love Harry so much, but he couldn't accept that Severus was carrying his own son.

Sirius frowned when Severus stopped eating. "You have to eat more, Sev, your baby also need good food." He piled some omelette into Severus' plate. "I know nothing about pregnant man, but the baby sure grows fast."

Severus looked at Sirius as if he couldn't believe him. "I thought you don't care about the baby."

"Hey." Sirius was offended. "I might not be the best father but I'm not the worst one too. I know how to take care of my family."

Severus smiled as he slowly ate his omelette. Usually his body couldn't take anything other than plain toast, but now he ate the omelette like it was the most delicious food.

The Malfoys looked at Sirius as if he needed to have his head check, which of course he needed to. They smiled at each other as their guests were too busy looking at each other to notice them.

'_At least one thing is going right._' Narcissa thought.

Ö

The last class for that day was Potions, and since Professor Snape sudden resignation, Professor Dumbledore was now teaching that class until he could find someone to fill in the position.

It was to the relieved of the Gryffindors since they won't unnecessarily lost points now, although the class was a little boring because they would only make simply potions that had no chance to cause an explosion.

That day, as always, Harry was paired up with Draco. And no matter how his friend tried to cheer him, he could smile at him. After the class was over, Harry slowly gathered his things.

Most students had left, only Draco, Ron and Hermione was waiting for him when Professor Dumbledore called him. Harry signalled his friends to wait for him outside.

"Harry, my boy." Dumbledore smiled. "You must know why I want to talk to you."

"Yes, sir."

"Well, you are to serve your detention with me." Dumbledore was still smiling at the dejected boy.

"Yes, sir." Harry's voice was so soft it was like he didn't say a word.

"I know you are worried about your godfather, and I believe once you know that he was save you wouldn't do things that would endanger or hurt yourself." Dumbledore said kindly.

"Yes, sir." Harry had new hopes in his eyes.

"I know Draco is going home today, and you get my permission to stay at his place." Dumbledore raised his hand, silencing Harry's cry of joy. "But you must promise me, Harry, that you would do as your guardian told you and wouldn't give any trouble to the Malfoys."

"Yes, sir." Harry smiled. He hugged the old man and was about to leave when the headmaster called him again.

"If anyone asked, just tell them that you spend your detention with me, Harry."

"Yes, sir." Harry grinned.

He ran to Draco. "Did you hear what Professor Dumbledore said, Draco."

"Yes, Harry." Draco laughed. The happy boy was so different from the miserable boy he met before breakfast.

Harry hugged the taller boy. "You'll wait for me, right Draco. I'll pack really fast. You still let me come with you, right?"

"Of course."

"Did you hear that Ron, 'Mione? Draco said I can come with him, so you have to help me, you promise." Harry grinned.

Ron, who was a good deal taller than Harry, affectionately ruffled Harry's hair. "If didn't keep it down, the whole school might hear you, Harry, and you won't be able to leave."

Harry quickly shut his mouth, but he kept smiling as he went to the direction of his dorm. He wanted to fly to his room and just left with Draco, he couldn't wait to see Sirius again.

Draco shook his head. "The old man really loves him, don't you think?"

"Do you envy him?" Hermione glanced at the Slytherin.

Draco shrugged his shoulder. "I love him too, he kinda cute, don't you think?"

Hermione smirked. '_Ron might want to keep Harry away if he found out that Draco loves Harry_.'

"Harry." Hermione called her happy friend in a mother tone. "You can leave if you promise that you'll bring your homework with you and finish them."

But even that couldn't wipe Harry's smile away.

Ö

"I didn't break any rules, Professor, I swear. You can ask Draco." Was the first thing Harry said to Severus, when the portkey took him to Malfoy manor.

Severus nodded. "Professor Dumbledore informed us that you'll be coming here with Draco. I believe you want to see Sirius."

"Yes." Harry smiled brightly.

"He'll coming down in a few minutes." Severus smirked. The animagus was still bind on to the bed and the spell would wear of in another minute.

"Let's wait him in the dining room." Narcissa said after her son kissed her cheek.

"Yes, Mrs. Malfoy." Harry blushed. "Thank you for letting me stay."

"Ah, he's so sweet don't you think?" Narcissa wanted to hug the blushing boy.

"Who is?"

Harry turned his head when he heard the new comer's voice. "Sirius."

"Harry?" Sirius looked confused, but when he saw the boy nodding his head, he was assured.

"Sirius." Harry ran to his godfather. "I thought you were dead and I would never see you again." Harry hugged the older man.

"It would take more than a few spells to kill me." Sirius grinned, though he couldn't remember what had caused his misfortune.

Harry took off his glasses and wiped his tears. He tried to smile back. "I'm glad that you're alright."

"Harry _is_ cute, don't you think?" Sirius grinned at his lover.

"Sure." Severus growled. "You two look like brothers."

"Maybe I should grow some beard, so that I'll look like his father." Sirius grinned, the more he thought about being a father, the more he liked it.

Harry looked at his godfather and smiled shyly. "You'll look like Proffesor Dumbledore if you have beard."

"Are you saying I'm old?" Sirius pretended to be offended.

Harry quickly shook his head. "I'll it if you would look like my father."

"I'm hungry," Severus said coldly. He quickly walked to the dining room, leaving the painful scene. '_If you were going to be his father, then who are going to be my son's father, Sirius?_'

"Come on, Harry." Draco took Harry's hand. "Leave your stuff here."

Sirius quickly followed, he didn't like to be left alone. Things were good that Lucius had an emergency to attend to at the Ministry, and it had gone better now that Harry were here.

"After lunch, Madame Pomphrey will come to check on Sirius and Severus, so you two would have to stay at Draco's room." Narcissa looked at Harry, knowing that the boy would like to stay with her cousin.

"That's fine; we have to finish our homework anyway." Draco smiled at his friend, but Harry wasn't looking at him.

"Are you not well, Professor?" Harry looked at his ex Potions Professor with concern.

"You can call me Severus." Severus didn't answer the question though. "I'm not your teacher anymore."

"Yes, sir." Harry was back at his lunch.

After the peaceful lunch, the boys stayed at Draco's room. Harry would only leave his godfather's side after Narcissa promised to call him when Madame Pomphrey had left.

It was another hour when the Healer came. After ran a quick check, she was sure that Sirius' head wasn't damage, so she only gave him potions that would help him get his memory back.

"Woah," Sirius looked at Madame Pomphrey's bag. "You do have all the stuff there."

The Healer only smiled. "Not really. Say if you are indeed have gone mad, then I wouldn't have something here that would help to cure you."

"No, there was nothing wrong with me right?"

"Nothing I can found. But you only have your memory till you were twenty, so this potion will help you gradually get your memory back."

Then she went to another of her patient. She was satisfied that the baby was growing, though she still couldn't be sure when he would go into labour.

"Is the baby okay?" Severus looked worried.

"Very healthy." The healer smiled kindly at the worried mother. "I still can't be sure, but I think you would have him in less than three months."

"Thank you." Severus smiled.

When Severus and Narcissa walked the healer out, Sirius was so bore that he decided to do something useful that would help him get back his memory.

So when Severus returned and wanted to give him the potion, he wasn't prepared for the fury.

"You drink the whole vial?" Severus glared at his boyfriend.

"Yes." Sirius rubbed his forehead.

"Don't you know that you can only drink it five tea spoon everyday?"

"How could I know, and now my head hurt so much." Sirius complained. "Can I sleep now?"

Severus couldn't hold his anger despite of his worry. "How can you survive without me?"

Sirius tried to smile. "That's a miracle, I think."

Severus sat at the bedside holding the other man's hand until he felt asleep. Sometime he stroked the face when the other man was whimpering in his sleep. After several yawned, he decided to come to bed and sleep, still holding Sirius' hand in his.

9 March 06, 5:45 pm


End file.
